dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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