There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize