p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm too high and old for this...
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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