Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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