help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
