There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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