I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
