I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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