so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
