My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
