I think I died a long time ago.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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