those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
