Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
