i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
