ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
