I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
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