they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Randomize
