I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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