I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
