she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
