two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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