I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize