Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
