Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
