Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
