there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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