he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
