You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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