Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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