He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
