we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
