I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
