VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I deserve this hangover.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
