i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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