it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
