I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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