I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize