i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I want her autograph on my taint
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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