Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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