Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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