He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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