Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
True college students do jello shots in the library
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
