i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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