shes about as inviting as chlamydia
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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