There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I love you.
Bad choice
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
