he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize