The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
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