I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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