i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
