I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize