Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
