If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
