You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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