I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
