WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
