Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
