I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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