We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
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